I said I was going to blog more, and, judging from the lack of words on this page, I obviously haven’t been doing that.

Let’s give it a “half year gone” retry.

I haven’t been shooting a lot of pretty girls of late. In fact, it has been more than a month since I had my last in studio photo shoot. I organized and oversaw this year’s model shoot at the annual Rock and Roll Monster Bash, but I was too busy organizing to shoot. I seriously only fired off about a dozen shots of the pretty girls we had there. I have, however, taken pride in seeing the level of excellent work that came out of what I put together in less than three weeks.

I have been shooting roller derby every month for the Atlanta Roller Girls as their official photographer. I unknowingly stepped into the shoes of the much loved and respected Frank Mullen who died early this year. I regret that I never got to know Frank because by all accounts he was a friendly, kind, and overall Good Guy. I have made it my mission to photograph the Atlanta Roller Girls with as much love and affection as Frank did. I think I have been successful at that.

Back to the pretty girl shooting. I confess to be bored with and critical of the girls who have signed up on Model Mayhem, the free on-line talent source so many people use. Most of the girls are “pretty”, but I want something different, something unique, something fun.

I guess I’m just missing out on the “fun” part of shooting pretty girls. So many of them on-line have a delusion of becoming a Model, and aren’t in it to have fun, to be creative. I do get one or two of those from time to time, but rarely for more than a few shoots – then they’re off to somewhere else, or I can’t think outside of my own box to come up with something interesting to shoot.

It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, I guess.

My other goal? Making $5000 with my camera this year? Um, yeah, about that. Let’s just say that I am even less creative with business plans as I have been with my camera.

My wife and I talked about this. I think we both share the same fear. I’m too afraid that I won’t achieve my goal, that I’ll be turned down and rejected, to even try to achieve my goal. It is less of an ego burn to not even try to be successful. How’s that for pitiful?

I haven’t even been able to get a new website designed because I keep looking at my photos and saying, “These aren’t good enough to bring in business.” Then I see hacks and amateurs making damn good money shooting family and senior portraits just because they have more charm than I.

Okay – enough wallowing. I have to get to bed now. Tomorrow is another day……

The picture – Atlanta Roller Girls Rumble B’s vs. Fayetteville Rouge Rollers. Look at the face of determination on that girl in gray. I need that face every day.